I woke as a completely different person.  Dropped into a new phase of the grieving process.  A new trail on the map through the grieving journey.  I am overwrought with sadness.  I am as fragile as tissue.  Every one of my senses is tender and raw.  When music hits my ears, the notes draw in too much emotion. The sound goes straight to my heart.  Shards of glass are piercing and ripping my heart apart.   I am lightheaded with sorrow. Everything makes me cry.  My sense of touch is acute.  Petting the dog and the cat, feeling their fur, is as if I am touching it for the first time.  John will never snuggle up with these beloved animals again.  The tears won’t stop. Crisp Autumn air punctuating the warm afternoon.  John won’t smell that again.  Intellectualizing it, I Google “Stages of grief” to measure where I am in the process.  To gauge if this is the “right” time for this.  To see if this is “normal”. Grief and loss have been studied, dissected and analyzed but one size does not fit all. This is my own unpredictable journey and I will be tossed from one phase to another in my unique way.