Author Archives: melissacoupin

John said “Hi” to me today.   He got my attention by screeching as he flew to the very top of the Redwood tree that towers above our house. There he perched, 100 feet above, looking down at me.  I waved.  … Continue reading →

In November it was time to turn John’s room into a guest room.  The sky blue paint he had picked in second grade was chipped and faded.  The duvet cover was torn, re-stitched and torn again.  Posters were falling off … Continue reading →

Today would be your 23rd birthday, but you are frozen in time just short of 22.  You are constantly with me. My days are filled with thoughts of you, even a year later.  I’m surrounded by things that remind me … Continue reading →

August -2015 Matt helps me into my backpack. I lean forward letting the full weight of the pack fall onto my back like a turtle’s shell and I clip the waist belt. I adjust the shoulder straps and clip them … Continue reading →

Walking out to get the mail last week, I noticed that the sun was hitting the house at the same angle and with the same intensity. The air smelled the same. Summer getting shorter, halfway done. A familiar drone to … Continue reading →

Nine months.  The human gestation period.  A school year. The number of months that John has been gone.  Nine months today. Matt made it through almost three weeks of his sophomore year before John died.  One of the classes he … Continue reading →

The empty chair at the table feels more evident today than any other day so far.  We weren’t all together last year for Mother’s Day…Matt in Cambridge, John in Boulder, but I still got calls and texts, along with promises … Continue reading →

We are at an insurance conference in Hawaii.  It is beautiful here.  While Paul is in his seminars, my days are full of relaxation, yoga and hiking.  But the real reason we are here is business, which also means a … Continue reading →

April 8, 20015.  I got John’s iPod last night.  It was wrapped up with a note from a friend who got it from her friend, who got it from her son who was John’s room mate.  I wonder now if … Continue reading →

It’s Easter sunday and I’m alone (by choice, not for any lack of invitations from thoughtful friends).  Matt is in Valparaiso, Chile.  Paul is on his way to the Masters Golf Tournament. I was raised celebrating Spring more than celebrating Easter. … Continue reading →